WizardPete
Member
- First Name
- Armene
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2024
- Threads
- 6
- Messages
- 38
- Reaction score
- 24
- Location
- Seattle, Washington
- Vehicle(s)
- 2025 Civic Type R
- Thread starter
- #1
Okay, well maybe not the bank, but a comically intriguing situation arose nonetheless.
I'm cruisin' (Will Smith style) around town, just enjoying the throttle (as per usual), when coming up in my rear view mirror all aggressive like is what appears to be an early 2000's Toyota Rav-4. The ugly ones. Mind you, speed limit is 25 (and we all know I got the fl5 because I follow THOSE recommendations
).
So here I am, just lolly gaggin' and this guy behind me must REALLY have to pee, or poop? idk...he should've left 20 minutes ago, that's for sure! Maybe the parking spot close to the door of his apartment building always got took at the same time every day and he was trying to one up his neighbor. Who knows!? Not I.
Well he has his nose all the way up my ass - like, colonoscopy much!? Jeez! and I knowing that it's not about having to prove that I can win every fight that matters, but KNOWING I can win every fight that gives me calm in situations like this - I bite. I bite. I bite hard!!
I throw down into 2nd and skirt-skirt! I'm off!
....okay, I went up to 45, but in a 25 that's pretty much the same thing! Don't laugh.
Well APPARENTLY his spiffy ass Rav-4 can go 45 mph too much to my surprise! I figured it'd fall apart considering it looked like a car I'd spend 3 weeks building out of miscellaneous legos I found at a goodwill.
I approach the turnoff for the street I need and I get into the left turn lane, proceed to make my turn and I travel up the road. This guy is STILL in my pooper. Smellin' all my farts before I can rip em. Just inhaling all the fumes, if you know what I mean - HARD into that feltch stuff. (Not for me, but hey! To each their own.)
The lane splits at this point into 2 and he pulls up next me as we come to a stop at a light. I look over and this is the part that gets me...
Dude was like 90 years old. Vietnam veteran hat on. Face looked like a bleached raisin. Shit was crazy! We all know this guy not only flew fighter jets for a living as a means to kill, but he probably DEFINITELY needs to poop!!
I must've stared at this guy in bewilderment for what seemed like an hour, although it was probably more like 10 seconds (still long, I know, but some things just need a moment to sink in). This guy didn't look at me AT ALL. And I say that because right before our light turned green, I put my white ranger into 1st and I prepare to SHOW. THIS. MUTHAFUKA. UP!!!! Because that's what I do baby!!!
Uhm.....well remember when I said he didn't look at me once?? Right before the light turned green, his jedi force training kicked in and he was told something very clever because he grinned. Not like "It was me....I clogged the toilet." sort of grin. Like a "Smile" level of grin. A malicious "I know where the body is, and I'm never telling!" sort of grin. Still not looking at me.
Do early 2000 Rav-4's have Sirius-XM? I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt of listening to comedy or something, I'm really trying!
Well that light turned green and WHOOOOOOMMMMMPPPP!!!! WHOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMPPPPP!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMP!!!
I took the fuck off!! Suck it old man!!!
I look in my rear view mirror and he's no where to be seen. I dusted him.
No....no I did not. He immediately turned right and got on the freeway. I was racing a ghost.
No turn signal, no warning, in fact no indication that he was turning AT ALL!! I think I know why he grinned
I'm pretty sure that is fighter pilot 101, because one minute he was there, the next I had ZERO idea where he was and by the time I did see where he was, it was too late. My move had been played and I was the one left looking like a fool.
So remember, when you see an ancient old man wearing a Vietnam Veteran hat driving an early 2000's model Rav-4 simply tip your cap, thank him for his service, and be abouts your business. Because he's probably an assassin who just for shits and gigs will make you look like an idiot - but not to anyone else, but yourself and the last face you'll ever see.
I'm cruisin' (Will Smith style) around town, just enjoying the throttle (as per usual), when coming up in my rear view mirror all aggressive like is what appears to be an early 2000's Toyota Rav-4. The ugly ones. Mind you, speed limit is 25 (and we all know I got the fl5 because I follow THOSE recommendations
).So here I am, just lolly gaggin' and this guy behind me must REALLY have to pee, or poop? idk...he should've left 20 minutes ago, that's for sure! Maybe the parking spot close to the door of his apartment building always got took at the same time every day and he was trying to one up his neighbor. Who knows!? Not I.
Well he has his nose all the way up my ass - like, colonoscopy much!? Jeez! and I knowing that it's not about having to prove that I can win every fight that matters, but KNOWING I can win every fight that gives me calm in situations like this - I bite. I bite. I bite hard!!
I throw down into 2nd and skirt-skirt! I'm off!
....okay, I went up to 45, but in a 25 that's pretty much the same thing! Don't laugh.
Well APPARENTLY his spiffy ass Rav-4 can go 45 mph too much to my surprise! I figured it'd fall apart considering it looked like a car I'd spend 3 weeks building out of miscellaneous legos I found at a goodwill.
I approach the turnoff for the street I need and I get into the left turn lane, proceed to make my turn and I travel up the road. This guy is STILL in my pooper. Smellin' all my farts before I can rip em. Just inhaling all the fumes, if you know what I mean - HARD into that feltch stuff. (Not for me, but hey! To each their own.)
The lane splits at this point into 2 and he pulls up next me as we come to a stop at a light. I look over and this is the part that gets me...
Dude was like 90 years old. Vietnam veteran hat on. Face looked like a bleached raisin. Shit was crazy! We all know this guy not only flew fighter jets for a living as a means to kill, but he probably DEFINITELY needs to poop!!
I must've stared at this guy in bewilderment for what seemed like an hour, although it was probably more like 10 seconds (still long, I know, but some things just need a moment to sink in). This guy didn't look at me AT ALL. And I say that because right before our light turned green, I put my white ranger into 1st and I prepare to SHOW. THIS. MUTHAFUKA. UP!!!! Because that's what I do baby!!!
Uhm.....well remember when I said he didn't look at me once?? Right before the light turned green, his jedi force training kicked in and he was told something very clever because he grinned. Not like "It was me....I clogged the toilet." sort of grin. Like a "Smile" level of grin. A malicious "I know where the body is, and I'm never telling!" sort of grin. Still not looking at me.
Do early 2000 Rav-4's have Sirius-XM? I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt of listening to comedy or something, I'm really trying!
Well that light turned green and WHOOOOOOMMMMMPPPP!!!! WHOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMPPPPP!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMP!!!
I took the fuck off!! Suck it old man!!!
I look in my rear view mirror and he's no where to be seen. I dusted him.
No....no I did not. He immediately turned right and got on the freeway. I was racing a ghost.
No turn signal, no warning, in fact no indication that he was turning AT ALL!! I think I know why he grinned
I'm pretty sure that is fighter pilot 101, because one minute he was there, the next I had ZERO idea where he was and by the time I did see where he was, it was too late. My move had been played and I was the one left looking like a fool.
So remember, when you see an ancient old man wearing a Vietnam Veteran hat driving an early 2000's model Rav-4 simply tip your cap, thank him for his service, and be abouts your business. Because he's probably an assassin who just for shits and gigs will make you look like an idiot - but not to anyone else, but yourself and the last face you'll ever see.
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